Friday 1 May 2015

The most intense adrenaline rush that I have ever had

The fight, flight and fright responses were all there on the day of my clinical examination. In my beloved varsity-The National University of Malaysia (UKM), professional examination for medical undergraduates was 2 weeks long. First week was meant for theory part and second week was meant for clinical component-long and short case. After 3 weeks long of tiresome study week period, I had to face the real anticipated challenge whereby I was tested on my proficiency and competency. Frankly speaking, I think Allah had answered all my do'a. Therefore, I realized that we as a Muslim no matter how good or bad our faith is, never underestimate the power of do'a. I passed my fate and luck to the Almighty. I'm a mathematical and chemical type of person. I love calculation as it only requires understanding of each formula and calculation ensures me to get the answer in a very systematic and organized way. I do not need to memorize the factual which was my weakness. In medicine, you need to understand the subject concerned. However, I found that memorizing still need to be instituted as part of learning process even if I do understand about the subject. Reading is my real challenge as it really takes time for me to study every inch of medical branches ranging from internal medicine, surgery, obstetric and gynaecology, paediatrics, orthopaedic, psychiatry, family medicine, ophthalmology, ENT, anaesthesiology, emergency medicine, and forensic medicine. All of them must be covered within 3 weeks. It is impossible for person like me who have obsessive slowness to revise them all within 3 weeks. It is impossible, impossible, impossible and impossible. I focused more on major postings, common diseases and core of it. I prayed to Allah to let me pass this professional exam as I had put my effort and struggled for past 3 weeks. The rest of the diseases which I have not covered during study weeks will be covered after my examination season has over. Alhamdulillah, I made as most of the diseases that I have covered during study came out in examination both theory and clinical. I can breath a sigh of relief as theory component was comparatively easy than previous years. What about clinical part?


I was going crazy

I can vividly remember my clinical exam day. I had started my day with intense palpitation and sweating up to extent of thinking to request for beta blocker in the ward while I was heading to Level 10. My mother was also affected by this clinical examination as she called me at 4.30 a.m to wake me up (I was still studying) and she told me that she had loss of appetite and insomnia. Her voice sounds like she almost to cry for me. I was the last one to arrive at Level 10 of UKMMC Clinical Block. It was not because my late wake up, I was just too scare to endured the reality. I always pray to Allah to give me the case that I really know of in detail and hoping to get paediatrics or surgical cases. Most of the students were hoping not to get paediatrics case but I am bit different due to some reasons. However, I did not get paediatric or surgical cases for my long case. Even so my luck was still good as I got obstetrics case of a 32-year-old G2P1 at 24 weeks plus 3 days period of amenorrhea with 1 previous scar, chronic hypertension, gestational diabetes mellitus on diet control, obese and history of congenital anomaly. When I was inside the room clerking the patient, all physical manifestations of panic attack were there simultaneously. The health attendant in-charge whom I really appreciate her genuine help tried to calm me down. My patient was a good historian and she really really really wanted me to pass the examination. She told her history in a very microscopic way. Both my patient and health attendant were very helpful. I think the rest of long case was okay except during physical examination when I was brought to measure the blood pressure in front of my long case examiner. It was an eventful moment. It affects me during the discussion session. Whatever it is, let it be as I had passed my professional examination. My name was announced by the dean on Friday, 26/4/2015. Alhamdulillah wa syukurillah. Just to let you know, Allah always plan the best for me. Even I had started my day during clinical examination with full of palpitation, He ends me very well. I got paediatrics beta thalassemia case for my last short case station. The examiner was a very kind professor who helped me to calm down. Professor Syed gave a good reassurance to me and motivated me that I was about in the finishing to become a doctor. He just wanted me to calm down and be confident. He was really good and humble. His word for me was like a hug from a father whom I have never had. Thank God, I made it and I had nothing to worry when I was in the very last station. 


My picture was snapped by Kak Intan during theory paper of surgical stream.






Thursday 30 April 2015

Post professional exam mode: Time to polish my dusty blog

It's rusty and dusty. After about one year leaving my blog in untouched, tonight I made to sign in. Luckily I still remember the password to sign in. When I am about to write a new post, there's a question that comes up momentarily in my mind. Why do I need to have a blog? It keeps me think about a minute to figure out the real existence of my blog. Basically, it relates to my personality. I'm a kind of person who is expressive. I love to share my view, happiness, and possibly sadness. However, I might not be the most outspoken person. I can say that some people claim that I am a shy person. Well, I think what people think about me partly true. The mainstay way of how I express myself is via writing. It was 7 years ago when I was in Form 4, my teachers always told my friends that she like to read my essay writing which were always well-written. Guys, I'm not boasting myself yeah. Possibly, that is the reason why I love to have a blog even I have a very limited time to care for it. Oh yeah, speaking about my school age I have something to share here. In remembrance to who I was in the past, I would like to book the memory in the past here tonight. When I was in Form 4, I was offered to join a national essay writing competition which was organized by Department of Standard Malaysia which was based in satellite city, Putrajaya. Another year 5 student whose name is Mukhriz was also offered to join this competition by Cikgu Zerafina Bt Jerawi. She is a Sabahan who came to teach in Kelantan because she had to follow her husband, a policeman who was transferred to Kelantan. It was the end of 2006 when I was announced as the first prize winner of the competition. I did not expect to win the competition as that was my first competition and I thought there might be other student who could do even far well than me. Everything was ordained by Allah. He is the best planner. Thank you Allah for bestowed me such a memorable experience. The recipe for success is always the combination of effort and prayer. After weeks I have had burnt the midnight oil writing my around 1000 words long essay entitled...... Errrrrrrrrr, I could not remember the exact title. I'm still keeping the soft copy of my essay. However, there was no title written on top of it. However, the main issue that I had written of was about "Kebaikan Tanda Kualiti". It is very close to consumerism issue, It acts as a bonus point for me whenever from a very shy and quiet boy, most of my seniors and juniors started to open their eyes. I was elected to become the President of Kelab Pengguna, Secretary of St. John Ambulance, President of Kelab Pentanque and I was offered to become prefect which I had refused. As the first prize winner, I was awarded an amount of RM1250 which for me as a secondary school student was quite significant. I was offered to stay in JW Marriot hotel Putrajaya but I opted to stay in my aunty house in Putrajaya. On top of that, I was given AirAsia flight ticket by the organizer to attend the event which was scheduled November 20th, 2006. Initially, my mom against my decision to go there by flight as it was my first experience to be onboard. I have never had been on any flight before. Being a form 4 student, always pampered by my mom and dependent on older person, my mom ask me to go there by bus. Fortunately, my aunty had persuaded her to allow me and believe me that I can be independent and wise while on flight and after arrival in LCCT. Eventually I made it, it was an unforgettable experience being on my first flight alone.


My precious certificate. I received this certificate from Dato' Seri Dr Jamaluddin Jarjis who was heading MOSTI at that time. He had passed away just recently in a helicopter crash.

The second winner in the same category with me was Wenda-Liew Wei Qi. Wenda was not there to attend the event. Who is she?
During my very humble beginning in medical school, I was grouped with a Chinese girl whose name was quite familiar to me. Even it was 3 years past the event which was held in Marriot Hotel Putrajaya, I still could remember the name of second winner who did not attend to receive her certificate. During my PBL session, I had a chance to asked Wenda whether she was the girl who won second place for essay writing competition. She was surprised as I could remember her name even she did not go to the event to receive the award... hahaaha.... memang I jenis that kind of person yang senang ingat small matter..


After my first competition, I was offered to write another essay. Alhamdulillah, I made it to win and conquer the state of Kelantan.


Well, these are all my old time nostalgia. I really miss my old time where everything seems to be realistic in everything that I do. What about my present and my future?